So, there is this sudden wave of toxic culture in the air, everything is toxic now. “Girl Their marriage is toxic”, “This job of mine is toxic af”, “Why they friendship so toxic”?
However, while modern day society spends so much time giving things a toxic label, they fail to take accountability for the toxic behaviors they choose to indulge in, and consistently have around them. Now I’m not saying I’m a saint and haven’t ever been that person who allowed toxicity in my space, however, overtime I had to learn the only reason it was there in the first place was because I allowed it to be. There are even people walking around here calling the kettle black when they in fact don’t have it all together themselves hence the reason I say, “people should mind the business that pays them”. However, that’s not the focus of todays post.
A lot of the time things that people label as toxic are due to underlying trauma’s one has gone through, and maybe just maybe they’re in the stages of healing, but when you have the group I refer to as TOXIC CULTURE continuously criticizing them for their coping mechanisms they develop more severe bouts of anxiety, depression and what they call (air quotes) TOXIC BEHAVIOR!! And we wonder why suicide rates, opioid use, and mental health instability are at an all time high. I myself was once an individual who possessed (air quotes) TOXIC BEHAVIOR, however in order for me to get to the underlying issue of why that was happening I needed to peel back the layers of hurt that I was going through that many didn’t know I was battling. I needed to take accountability for my behavior, but I also didn’t need society telling me how to cope with those things by placing a T for TOXIC on my chest as if I was living in a scene from the scarlet letter.
People heal and grow at their own pace; people make decisions in their life that can either be of great use or be a lifelong lesson for the future. But who are we to tell someone how to deal with their pain? Life is a long lesson, nobody has all the answers, and absolutely no one is perfect. We all deal with things differently and, healing is a process. SO, STOP WITH THE CONSISTENT JUDGEMENT OF OTHERS, and make sure the grass in your yard in well-manicured before you go telling the next about how tall theirs is.
And to those who are under scrutiny for how you cope with things, just know that things will get better, the hurt doesn’t always last, but in order to grow, and heal you must take accountability for the toxicity in your life. Accountability is the key to healing!