Self First

OMG!!!! Ladies when I tell you life can be exhausting!!!, I can say I’m extremely happy my courses are over and graduation is approaching in May so I have something to celebrate in the coming months. However life doesn’t stop there, I’m still a full time mother, Wife, with a Full-Time job, so life is still pretty hectic. Despite it all I’m learning to cope with it…..

So now that I’ve vented about my very stressful life, that brings me to my topic for this post.


No I’m not talking about girly maintanance such as hair, nails, and girls night out.I’m talking about taking personal time alone, a time for reflection, and personal healing. We tend to not realize that when we undergo large amounts of stress in our lives its due to simply not focusing on self care. It can ultimately interfere with other important aspects of human life such as our own health. If you’re like me then you allow things to get to you, you worry about things that you cant change, and you fear the worst. There have been times when I’ve broken down into tears due to the amount of pressure I felt I was under. It wasn’t until recently when I became aware of the many reasons for my depression, and constant unhappiness. I had to understand that there are things that are beyond my control, as well as people who aren’t capable of changing. We all get to the point where we become extremely fed up and numb to certain situations because its simply not good for our mental health. So there are a few things we all must do to be sure that we always remain our first priority.

Being Honest With Ones Self– We must be aware of the things necessary in order to take care of Ourselves. Self awareness is #1 in this list. Without it you aren’t capable of identifying those things that are required in maintaining self care. I once wasn’t able to notice these things until I’d reached my breaking point in life. Therefore I forced myself to stop for a moment and figure out exactly what my many issues were that resulted in my changing emotions, and lack of positivity. I can personally say that doing this has allowed me to reevaluate and take the necessary steps to successful self care efforts.

Stop Attemtping to Revive Dead Situations– You cant save everyone or every situation. If the people in your life know how valuable you are to them and are aware of the risk of violating your trust, loyalty, or anything else of that nature they will do what’s necessary to correct those wrongs. However you must learn to revert your time and energy on ways that you can make yourself better. How can I heal from constant abuse, and betrayal? These are the questions we must ask ourselves, and then the next step of healing must commence.

Find a outlet– I have to admit I’m a serious homebody, however not having an occasional outlet to just let your hair down and relax can be absolutely depressing. I’m a mother of 3 boys and a wife, and the constant household duties, as well as working full time can be a lot all in itself. I love my family with all of me but I now know that if I need a few hours out to decompress to do so.

You Cant Always be Superwoman– As a Black woman we’re raised to be strong, be the nurturers, never give up, SAVE EVERYONE!!!!! But realistically sometimes we need saving also. We cant carry the world on our back, even the strongest man has a limit. Stop thinking you have to save everyone, and fix everything, it will absolutely drive you nuts to think you can. Allowing someone else to take on the responsibility from time to time, or help you with a particular situation will definitely eliminate stress.

In the African American community we are taught that depression isn’t real, we aren’t allowed to feel a certain way when things get tough. However we have to realize WE’RE HUMAN…… and having those emotions are apart of natural human behavior. Self Care is extremely important, and should be maintained at all cost. I know only because I too have had my own battle with depression, and it’s no fun. So don’t ever be afraid to take time out for You……

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